July 2007

 The 2% Solution

 by Morgana Rae

Bad Is The New Good

"Seek the wisdom that will untie your knot
Seek the path that demands your whole being"
Rumi

Words can injure. Anyone who doubts this obviously wasn't called "fat stuff" in the third grade.

When you are criticized, assigned attributes or character faults that don't fit you or upset you, you have a choice.

1) You can fight back and reject the attack. The danger of this approach is a devolution to "Am not!" "Are too!" "Am not!" "Are too!" (Can you hear the echos back to your third grade?) You have a dilemma. On one hand you don't want -- and shouldn't be - -a doormat. Abuse is not okay. On the other hand, fighting back with denials escalates the confrontation into an inevitable lose/lose resolution.

There's another possibility.

2) The two percent solution. Take a breath. Give yourself a chance to recover from your immediate reaction and flooded emotions. Step away if you need to. Then, when you're able, create space for possibility.

What if 2% of what your challenger says is true? Can you live with that two percent? What if two percent of you really is selfish? Is that such a bad thing? Or if two percent of you is a fake -- what is that two percent? Can you live with that?

Sometimes I like to try this out and think of any horrible thing someone could say about me and I look for the two percent of truth. It's a wonderful exercise in wholeness.

What two percent of me is a terrorist? A murderer? A jerk? A spoiled brat? Insensitive? Or, dare I say it, fat?

Despite appearances, this is an exercise in self love. You can find evidence for two percent of anything under the sun. And you get to be a wonderful, beautiful human being too. With less to hide.

And I can tell you, nothing kills an argument like, "You're right. Part of me is selfish/controlling/unfair/a brat. You're right." If you can say that without defiance, with love for yourself and understanding for the other person, your fight can open up to new intimacy and respect. Try this at home and at work.

Extra credit for advanced students: If you look deeply you will find a higher purpose for even the worst two percent. If it had no purpose it wouldn't exist. And some things look pretty good depending on context.

Imagine not being two percent selfish? How would you survive? Would you have any self respect at all? Do you really want to give up all your selfishness?

If you weren't two percent murderer, what would you eat? (Even plants have life.)
What if you were never fake? (I think of Jim Carrey's movie Liar Liar).
Without two percent fat you'd be dead. Or Kate Moss.

See how the game is played?

Morgana Rae, the Charmed Life Coach , helps entrepreneurs, small business owners, and entertainment professionals enjoy greater success without sacrificing their humanity. A popular speaker and frequent television and radio guest, Morgana was featured as a millionaire mindset expert in the soon to be released feature film, "Millionaire-Awaken Your Secret" with Robert Allen, Mark Victor Hansen and Christopher Gardner.  Morgana is a contributing author to the books Inspiration to Realization, and Get Rich-The Woman's E-Guide to Creating Wealth, and her articles have been published in magazines worldwide. 
 
For more free tips on creating a charmed life of ease, flow, and abundance visit www.charmedlifecoaching.com. 
Questions or comments, email: morgana@charmedlifecoach.com